using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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