Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
