do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
