From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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