Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
