I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
