so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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