yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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