I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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