He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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