but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
