It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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