her vagine was all disorganized.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
