just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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