yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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