We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
