ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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