I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I smell stomach acid.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just had sex on a roof
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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