Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
