all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
