just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
