It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
