i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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