You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
