It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
