How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
