i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
