wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
