If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
