so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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