so that wasnt chicken after all
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
