take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
