Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
