pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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