Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
