Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
