I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
