getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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