Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need a beard to bite.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
