In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
