And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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