Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
