This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's always time for handjobs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
