im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
