so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Are my feet made of real feet?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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