my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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