You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
