Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
