thus making me awesome and them whores
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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