I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
