where am i from again
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
